Tuesday 26 October 2010

Still doing ok

Well I think its now been 5 weeks off the med and so far things have settled.
Still dont do great when Im porly, had the lurgy for the past few days and get so impatient its not getting better as fast as I want.
Its also been a full moon, and while Harry laughs at me, im sure it does affect me.

Still very short tempered and

No Feckin Weight Loss.
Driving me mad, am seeing the doc nect week.

Thursday 21 October 2010

UUUrgh

Got the lurgy
Started with migraine at 3 in the morning.
Carried on all day
Now think its Sinusitis and this rubbish that is going round.

Have walked the dogs today but not gone to Sylvia's. Havent done any Cézanne work and need to get on.

Jitters not too bad. Certainly improved from a week ago...am going to stick with it...still no weight loss though. Will have to go back to Docs about that.

Sunday 17 October 2010

Up and down

Well the weekend hasn't been too bad at all apart from a bit of a blip today.

I am sleeping better which is a relief.

Im also getting into a rage very quickly, similar to pmt.
Today I thought all was ok but this afternoon I got a bit down and tearful.
Ah well, its still going better

Friday 15 October 2010

good day

Another good day, no jitters no worries

Went for run,
Didnt go to gym as very tired but went to pub.
things going well

Wednesday 13 October 2010

Much better

Wow just read last post from 3 days ago and its hard to remember how rubbish I felt.

The days have been getting better since then....and today was the best so far. I really think having the first tutorial hanging over me was playing on my mind more than I kew.

It was hard though, all yesterday I was so nervous and in 2 minds whether to go. Even sat in the car in the car park I didnt want to go in but Harry made me and came with me and waited in the reception until we went in. Even for around 20mins into class I wanted to walk out but i knew Id have to wait another 20 mins for harry to come back. Anyway I got talking to some of the others in the group and things settled down. I enjoyed it in the end

It also proved to me that I can do this anxiety thing without the meds, its just the thought of getting low which is scarey as boy is that so hard to deal with.

The assignment i need to get on with as I am stressing myself out about not being able to do it. It will probably be on Friday as Im busy tomorrow.

One thing Im excited about is weight training. Have spoken to one of the instructors at gym and he is really encouraging about seeing how far I can go with it....something to work towards.

Things are better than ok at the mo.

Sunday 10 October 2010

low

Yesterday is forgotten
Today is bad.
Cant understand why though.
Very low, very jumpy,very sad, for most of the day.
Rest of the day okish but flashes of the rubbish

Ah well i hope tomorrow is good but if not Im going to go for a run

Best part of day was the gym, although now I seem to have the lurgy. maybe that is why day has been rubbish, coming down with something

Saturday 9 October 2010

Different

What a difference a day makes.

Things are so much better today.

No jitters, no upset or low mood

Walked the dogs, been for a run, done the shopping, been to BF.

Now at home and its all going well.

Thursday 7 October 2010

Black day/then better

Today has been rubbish for the most part.
Felt really black moods and extreme thoughts and fears
Weepy and short tempered too.

Went for a run this afternoon and its all gone.....what a relief.

Need to give coming off the meds more time to get out of my system and understand that if running makes the symptoms go away then theyre only temporary and not forever.

Wednesday 6 October 2010

Wobbly

The last few days have been a bit wobbly, nothing major just there in the background.

I must admit Im knackered but I think its more to do with bad back waking me than lack of meds.

Ive no energy for anything and I am a bit low but the weather has been really dark and that always makes me feel low.

Bit snappy as well.

I am getting intense thoughts that get to me, usually concerns over others, but I am making a big effort to talk myself out of them and get them into perspective.

Going to gym tonight so hopefully that will boost mood.

Sunday 3 October 2010

Ok day

Today went ok, no jitters to speak of.

Got the ironing done today instead of tomorrow which is great but part of me still begrudges not having Sunday to myself. Have to remember that I get time in the week and Im going to need that for my study so should really not let it get to me.

Things seem to have calmed down side effect wise and I feel more on an even keel apart from the snappiness and flashes of temper.

Still no weithloss though. Will give it another week and then get to the doc to see if the pcos is behind it.

Study day tomorrow

Saturday 2 October 2010

Better

In all honesty the last 2 days have been fairly good.

Have had some jitters but they had a reason and weren't out of the blue.
Yesterday morning it was because of us all getting together after the fall out but it went fine.
Today we went to Grimsby and Im not feeling 100% and that always brings the jitters on.

Im still snappy but not so teary. I feel happier as well.

I think its 2 weeks since I took my last tablet.